you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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