Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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