Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
