Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
