forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize