She said her name was "party"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
