i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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