But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize