so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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