Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
