What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
