He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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