Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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