Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
wow bdsm is so cute
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
