I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
