I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
