If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
you had me at cake vodka
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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