I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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