i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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