dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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