shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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