She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm both gender and math confused
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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