I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
