You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
