Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
