You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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