i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
