i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
