It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He better not be in your backpack
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
