NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
