Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
