Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
