I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize