question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
