it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Randomize
