just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
