im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
