you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
