I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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