who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
