I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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