forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
