3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
