I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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