...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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