Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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