that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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