What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
