my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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