id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
