My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
