so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
