I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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