So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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