Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I stole a fireplace last night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize