Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
