dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
