Are we in a gay sports bar?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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