the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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