playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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