My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
