actually, I'm a sock model
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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