Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
