she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
