I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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