If i come over, it means nothing
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
