The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
