im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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