If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
