its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
