if i can run in heels then i can drive
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
