I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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