sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize