this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
