i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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