I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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