dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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