I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
