afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
