I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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