I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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