Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The feeling are messing with the penis
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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