My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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